There are many senses of “work.” One is the profession we choose. Another is the chore facing us right now. We are obliged to deal with work in the “big” sense, in the sense of our professional choices. But we are also obliged to deal with work in the “small” sense, in the sense of the thing that we are doing next, whether that’s cleaning up a spill, struggling with the song we’re writing, or the “work” of having a hard conversation with a loved one.
Each of these “small” tasks provide us with the opportunity to feel anxiety, to procrastinate, to not get on with it. By not doing that bit of work, and by not doing the next bit of work, we can spend a lifetime not getting our work done. We end up passive, unproductive, and not feeling very proud of the effort we are making at living intentionally.
One tactic that can help with this challenge—and one that you can easily teach to clients—is the strategy of dropping a thought into a breath (what I call “creating incantations”). These incantations serve as calmness charms that can help remind you what your work “is” and that you are intending to get that work done “now.”
The template or primary incantation is “(I am doing) (my work).” (The parentheses indicate the inhale portion of the phrase and the exhale portion.) Each time you use it, you would insert a new phrase that names some work that you hope to accomplish. There is great centering power in mindfully naming your work. You at once fortify your intentions and create a simple plan. Breathing-and-thinking “(I am cleaning) (the closet),” “(I am writing) (my novel),” or (“I am paying) (the bills)” has a calming effect, even as it calls you to action.
The work you name can be the work you are about to undertake, like practicing your instrument or cleaning out the garage. You can also use this incantation to announce an intention, for instance that you will write after work (“I am writing) (after work”) or that you will clean out the closet as soon as you get home from the supermarket (“I am cleaning) (when I get home”).
You can also use it to work on a quality that you want to manifest, like courage or patience, or a state that you want to enter, like a calm, enthusiastic, or receptive state. For example, you might use “(I am waiting) (patiently)” at the dentist’s office and “(I feel open) (and receptive)” upon entering a gallery of avant-garde paintings.
You will get better results the more accurately and appropriately you name your work. Let’s say that you intend to make a difficult phone call to your mother, one in which you mean to tell her that she can’t come to visit you over the holidays. That’s the work you plan to name. The obvious phrase to incorporate is “I am calling my mother” or maybe “I am making that difficult phone call.”
However, your real work might be to tell your mother what you’re feeling or, conversely, to carefully hide what you’re feeling. Or your work might be to stay calm as you speak to your mother or to stay strong in the face of her accusations and complaints. Therefore, any one of the following phrases might be the one you actually choose to use:
| “(I will speak) (my truth)”
— or — “(I will stay) (very calm)” — or — “(I won’t reveal) (very much)” — or — “(I will stay) (strong)” |
Each of these phrases refers to the same task, calling your mother, but each puts you in a different frame of mind and relates to a different, particular intention.
The process of consciously naming your work may lead you to fruitful self-exploration. You may find that you don’t know what your work is, that you have so much work that you don’t know where to start, or that you don’t feel equal to any of your tasks and therefore don’t want to name anything and ‘pin yourself down.’ If these have been problems for you for some time, you’ve been living with plenty of anxiety for a long time already. Trust that, by facing your anxiety now and by learning to name and do your work, some relief and calm will follow.
Here are how two coaching clients reacted to the idea of mindfully naming their work.
From Theresa:
“At first, I found myself naming tasks that were far too daunting. I began to see that I set myself up for failure by doing exactly this all the time. This afternoon, when I returned to my practice, I tried to name little ‘bites’ of something rather than the whole meal. I really like the ‘bites’ idea. I’m going to try to keep the work small, whether it’s something I want to do or something I dread doing.”
From Lois:
“It’s very helpful to focus and make a conscious decision about what I intend to do. It seems so much better than just spreading energy out there in scatter-shot fashion. Since I’m dealing with depression, anxiety, and now a possible medical threat, I choose: (I am centered) (whole, well and strong). I’d like to name work like writing, journaling, calligraphy, poetry, or gardening, but right now I think I need to use this step more as a coping strategy. I’ve used other practices to help with my exhaustion and depression but this is more specific and, I think, better.”
Work, in all its many senses—as profession, as day job, as occupation, as identity piece, as task, as chore, as responsibility—is just too important for any serious helper to ignore.
Existential wellness coaches are alert to these challenges and help their clients come up with their best tactics, strategies, and solutions for dealing with “the problem of work.” This is a taxing problem, a vexing problem, and, for many people, a never-ending problem. Existential wellness coaches stand ready to be of some help.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
1. How would you describe “the problem of work”?
2. What is your own history with regard to “meaningful” and “meaningless” work?
3. In what ways have you effectively and ineffectively handled the problem of work?
4. What two or three tactics might you employ in coaching a client who is having existential problems with work?
5. What two or three suggestions might you make, in coaching a client who is having existential problems with work?
This ends our mini-series on the existential problem of work. Next week we look at the weight of individuality, another existential minefield. See you then!
[I hope that you’re enjoying this series. Please check out the Noble Manhattan Existential Wellness Coach Certificate Program and my latest books, Brave New Mind and Night Brilliance.]
| Check out Eric Maisel’s transformative courses in collaboration with Noble Manhattan—designed to elevate your coaching journey. |
