You might begin a session by saying, “Good to see you! How are you?” or your version of a cheerful, enthusiastic, energetic greeting. And the second thing you say? Let’s look at three characteristic scenarios.
SCENARIO 1
You: “Great to see you! How are you?”
Client: “I’m okay. And I’m glad to see you today. I have a lot on my mind.”
You: “Great! Do you have a starting place?”
Client: “It’s my novel! I’m not writing it.”
You: “Okay! Tell me more about that.”
And then you listen, inquire, advise, and all the rest …
SCENARIO 2
You: “Great to see you! How are you?”
Client: “I’m pretty miserable. I’ve been having a really hard time.”
You: “Ah, I’m really sorry to hear that. Tell me what’s been going on.”
Client: It’s my brother again. Another fight about the inheritance.”
You: “Understood. Tell me more.”
SCENARIO 3
You: “Great to see you! How are you?”
Client: “I could be better. And I kind of doubt that you can help me. I probably need a therapist.”
You: “Well, let’s see if I can be of some help. Let’s begin by you telling me a little bit about what’s going on.”
Client: “I thought I would love this new job. But I hate it. So, where am I now?”
You: “That’s hard! Tell me more.”
This is how a session might typically begin. The first thing you say is the equivalent of a hearty greeting. The second thing you say is the equivalent of some version of “Tell me more.” This greeting, followed by this request, is the way that sessions can typically—and effectively—start.
It can all be kept this simple and uncomplicated, as simple and uncomplicated as opening a door. You step into your client’s world, say hello, inquire as to how things are going, and begin.
You may think that there is something fancier, more conceptual, or more “professional” to do. But, in fact, helping almost always begins with a greeting and a “tell me what’s going on” invitation. To be sure, that “tell me” might aim a client in a certain direction, as when a classical Freudian analyst or a Jungian depth psychologist asks, “What have you been dreaming about?” That is your choice, too: whether to invite your client to pick a direction or whether to be directive and aim your client in a direction of your choosing.
Whether you begin with an open-ended question or with a directive question, you are inviting your client to check in and “tell you more.” That is a useful and effective “second thing” for you to do, after greeting your client.
Of course, the scenario might be more like the following. You: “Great to see you! How are you?” Client: “I’m okay.” In this scenario, you can’t just “ask for more.” “Tell me more” would be a rather odd follow-up to “I’m okay.” Here you are pretty much obliged to be of some help and to aim the session a bit, most usually by saying something like, “Okay! Then let’s look at those things you wanted to get accomplished last month. How did writing the copy for your website go?” In whatever way your client responds, the session is in motion.
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