Self-Coaching Question: How can I live well without guarantees?
During the spring and summer of 2026 I’ll be presenting a series of posts on the art and practice of self-coaching. I think you’ll find this series valuable for your own purposes; and, if you work with clients, in your work with clients. Please enjoy! You can always reach me with comments and questions at ericmaisel@hotmail.com
If freedom creates the necessity of choice, uncertainty surrounds every choice we make. No matter how carefully we plan or how thoughtfully we decide, the future remains largely unknown. We cannot predict outcomes with certainty. We cannot guarantee success, stability, or even continuity.
This is the dilemma of uncertainty.
Human beings naturally seek predictability. We want to know that our efforts will lead to results, that our relationships will endure, that our plans will unfold as intended. A certain amount of predictability makes life manageable. Without it, the world would feel chaotic and unlivable.
Yet the deeper truth is that life contains far fewer guarantees than we might wish. Careers change. Relationships evolve or end. Health can shift unexpectedly. Entire social and economic systems can transform in ways no one anticipated. Even our own motivations and desires can change over time.
In the face of this reality, many people experience anxiety. If nothing is guaranteed, how can we feel secure? If the future is uncertain, how can we commit ourselves to anything?
These questions often lead individuals to seek certainty wherever they can find it. They may cling tightly to routines, institutions, or belief systems that promise stability. They may postpone decisions until they feel more confident about the outcome. Or they may avoid risk altogether in the hope of protecting themselves from disappointment.
While these responses are understandable, they often create new problems. The search for certainty can become a kind of prison. When we insist on guarantees before acting, we may find ourselves unable to act at all.
Self-coaching approaches this dilemma from a different angle.
Instead of asking how to eliminate uncertainty—a task that is largely impossible—it asks how we might live well within uncertainty. A central question self-coaching question is How can I live well without guarantees?
This question invites a shift in perspective. Rather than treating uncertainty as an enemy, we begin to recognize it as an inherent condition of human life. In fact, uncertainty is not entirely negative. It is also the source of possibility. Because the future is not predetermined, new experiences, relationships, and achievements remain possible. If everything were already fixed, growth and change would be impossible.
Uncertainty, in this sense, is the open space in which life unfolds. One helpful way to think about uncertainty is to distinguish between what we can influence and what we cannot control. We may not be able to guarantee outcomes, but we can still shape the effort we bring to our lives.
For example, you cannot guarantee that a creative project will succeed. But you can choose whether or not to create. You can decide how much care and attention you bring to your work.
You cannot guarantee that a relationship will last forever. But you can choose how honestly and compassionately you show up within that relationship.
You cannot guarantee that your plans will unfold exactly as intended. But you can choose how thoughtfully you prepare and how flexibly you respond when circumstances change.
These choices do not remove uncertainty, but they allow you to engage with life actively rather than passively.
Another helpful practice is learning to tolerate the emotional discomfort that uncertainty brings. Anxiety often arises when we imagine negative outcomes that might occur. Our minds generate possible scenarios, and we attempt to anticipate and prevent every potential problem.
While some foresight is useful, excessive worry rarely produces clarity. Instead, it can create a cycle in which imagined fears feel as real as actual events.
Self-coaching therefore encourages a different response. When uncertainty generates anxiety, you might gently acknowledge the feeling rather than immediately trying to eliminate it.
You might say to yourself: Of course, I feel uncertain. This situation genuinely involves unknowns.
By recognizing the reality of uncertainty, you often reduce the pressure to resolve it instantly.
Another useful question to ask yourself is: What would I do if uncertainty were simply part of the process?
This question invites you to act even while uncertainty remains present.
Consider how many meaningful human activities require exactly this attitude. Artists create without knowing whether their work will be appreciated. Entrepreneurs begin ventures without knowing whether they will succeed. Individuals enter relationships without knowing how those relationships will evolve.
In each case, people move forward not because they possess guarantees, but because the activity itself feels worthwhile.
Living well within uncertainty often involves identifying commitments that matter enough to pursue even without assurance of success. You might ask yourself: What effort feels worth making regardless of the outcome? For some people, the answer may involve creative expression. For others, it may involve building relationships, contributing to a community, or exploring intellectual or spiritual questions.
These commitments provide a kind of orientation. They do not eliminate uncertainty, but they give direction to our actions within it.
Another helpful perspective is to recognize that uncertainty affects everyone. No one—no matter how confident or accomplished they appear—possesses a perfectly predictable life.
The difference between those who feel paralyzed by uncertainty and those who move forward often lies in their relationship to it. Some individuals treat uncertainty as a signal to stop. Others treat it as a condition that accompanies every meaningful endeavor.
Self-coaching aims to cultivate the second attitude. It encourages us to accept that uncertainty will always accompany our choices. Instead of waiting for perfect clarity, we learn to proceed with thoughtful courage.
This does not mean acting recklessly. Reflection, planning, and preparation still matter. But at some point, action must occur despite incomplete knowledge.
You might think of life as a series of experiments rather than a sequence of guaranteed outcomes. Each effort teaches you something about yourself and about the world. Even when results differ from what you hoped, the experience itself contributes to your understanding.
Over time, this experimental approach reduces the fear of uncertainty. You begin to trust your capacity to adapt, learn, and continue.
As you reflect on your own life, you might ask yourself:
- Where am I currently waiting for certainty before acting?
- Where might I move forward even though the future is unclear?
- What meaningful effort feels worth pursuing despite uncertainty?
These questions can gradually shift your relationship with the unknown. So, as you continue your self-coaching journey, return to the central question of this post: How can I live well without guarantees?
And perhaps also ask yourself:
What meaningful step am I willing to take even while the future remains uncertain?
In the space between those questions lies a way of living that is both realistic and courageous—a life that acknowledges uncertainty but refuses to be paralyzed by it.
I hope that you’re enjoying this series. Please check out the Noble ManhattanExistential Wellness Coach Certificate Program and my latest books, Brave New Mind and Night Brilliance.
Check out Eric Maisel’s transformative courses in collaboration with Noble Manhattan—designed to elevate your coaching journey.
Each week Eric Maisel provides tips on the coaching life. Come to take a look at his three programs with Noble Manhattan Coaching: a Creativity Coach Certificate Program, an Existential Wellness Coach Program and a Relationship Coach Certificate Program.
