[Throughout the first half of 2026, I hope to provide you with a robust picture of how existential wellness coaches work with their clients on fundamental existential issues. If you’d like to learn more about the Noble-Manhattan Existential Wellness Coaching Certificate Program that I’ve developed, please visit here. There are scholarships available and all of the resources of the Noble Manhattan family. Come take a look. Today’s offering is Part 3 of a mini-series on ambiguity and uncertainty, two issues with which your clients are unquestionably wrestling.]
We say that something is ambiguous when it is unclear or confusing, when it is inexact and open to multiple interpretations, or when it can be understood in more than one way. As human beings, we may crave clarity. But the world is not obliged to supply us with that clarity. Rather, reality is confusing, contradictory, complex, and inevitably ambiguous.
Is that surrealist painter depicting dancers on the beach or a zombie apocalypse? We can’t quite tell. The painter has made the matter ambiguous, not to irritate us or to confuse us but to say something about reality, truth, and life. The painter is saying, “You want to know whether those are dancers or zombies? Well, maybe they’re neither. Maybe they’re both. Welcome to reality!”
Often certainty is not only impossible but not even desirable. Say that your client Mary is not sure about the man she is dating, a fellow named Mark. Mark smiles; but is he really smiling? He says the right things; but, somehow, it’s hard to believe him. He honors his agreements; yet there’s always something just a bit off in the way he honors them.
Mary can’t put her finger on what’s wrong or even how she feels about Mark. It all feels ambiguous … and frightening. It would be lovely if you, as her coach, could snap your fingers and grant her clarity. But that quick success would also prove a missed opportunity. This moment is an opportunity for Mary to gain insight into the inevitably of ambiguity in life. She can use that lesson as she deals with Mark, and she can use it throughout her life.
It may be that clarity is coming. But that isn’t a coach’s first objective. As an existential wellness coach, her main objective here is to help Mary learn an important lesson about the naturalness of ambiguity. Let’s accept it, she messages, and let’s learn to tolerate it. Because if you find it intolerable, Mary, you’re rather likely to jump to conclusions, just for the sake of manufacturing clarity.
If Mary can’t tolerate this moment of ambiguity, she might ignore the warning signs and enter into a troubled relationship. Or she might focus on those warning signs, drop Mark, and lose what might have been a fruitful relationship. Yes, sometimes we meet ambiguity with intuition and we boldly or tentatively make our decision. But that is different from fleeing from life’s ambiguities, just because they make us anxious.
What in your own life feels ambiguous? Take a moment and give that question some thought. Then, rather than trying to resolve that ambiguity and force clarity when clarity isn’t available, try simply embracing that ambiguity. Frame the matter as one of existential honesty: that, rather than wishing away the contradictions that exist and rather than hoping for a slogan-sized solution, you will tolerate contradiction and make your peace with this aspect of reality.
Sometimes matters are clear. Sometimes matters are ambiguous. This is true for you; this is true for your clients. This is so important a learning that you might invite your clients to journal on it. If you’re a coach who invites clients to journal, either in session or between sessions, picture offering up one of the following prompts to a client.
“What’s an area of your life where you long for certainty but know that you must act without it?”
“Describe what happens when two truths oppose one another.”
“Recall a moment in your life when not knowing for sure led to something unexpectedly beautiful.”
Isn’t it likely that journaling to one of these prompts would provoke some interesting reflecting, while at the same time deepening your client’s understanding of existential reality? Relax into the reality of ambiguity. It isn’t going away any time soon.
More next week!
[I hope that you’re enjoying this series. Please check out the Noble Manhattan Existential Wellness Coach Certificate Program and my latest books, Brave New Mind and Night Brilliance.]
Check out Eric Maisel’s transformative courses in collaboration with Noble Manhattan—designed to elevate your coaching journey.
