Not all of our clients have big dreams. But many do.
And even something that doesn’t sound like a “big dream,” like getting better organized, playing some recognizable tunes on the piano, or dealing with a recently deceased parent’s estate, may still amount to a lot of real work. Just about anything a client wishes to accomplish, from finding inner peace to advancing at work, is bound to amount to real work. And if there is also a big dream involved, like winning a Pulitzer or the Nobel Prize, then the bar is set very high.
Whether there is a big dream on the table or just something that amounts to real work, the only way for a human being to logically and effectively proceed is to take the small, regular steps that are right in front of them. You can’t leap from here to a Nobel Prize or to getting your garage straightened out. There is no leap to be made; there are only small steps to take.
And not just “any old small steps,” but the most effective and productive ones.
There is a real difference between “any old” small steps and small steps in the service of that dream. Say that your band is getting known locally but you need “something” (in addition to pure luck) to propel it to the next level. Each of the following only takes a few minutes to accomplish. You could write to a famous musician who happens to be a friend of a friend and ask him if your band could play for him and get some advice. Or you could upload the band’s latest tune to the Internet. Which is the bigger “small step”?
Most folks find it hard even to do the latter; but they find it almost impossible to do the former, even though it is clear that the former has the potential for the bigger payoff. Not all small steps are created equal. So, rather than asking a client, “What small steps would you like to take this coming week,” which perhaps gives a client too much permission to pick the smallest steps possible, you might ask instead, “Of the many small steps you might take this week, which ones seem the most useful to take?”
This way of framing the question helps a client distinguish among his possible next steps and presses him to pick “the best” small step or steps at his disposal.
At the same time, we cheerlead for the dream. This might sound like, “It’s great that you intend to get to the novel every day this week! By the way, you also mentioned a competition you were thinking of entering? Catch me up on that a bit.” Or: “It’s lovely that you’re enjoying doing some singing every day! By the way, I think you were intending to sing two songs at your daughter’s wedding? Catch me up on that a bit.” Or: “It’s excellent that you got some of those hard parts done on your website! By the way, I think you were going to try to launch your business at the end of next month? Catch me up on that a bit.”
Picture a hypothetical scenario where your new client is articulating a very big dream—say, to become a star in his field—but he sounds rather resistant to doing the sorts of things you presume he ought to be doing in order to make that dream come true. How does that make you feel? Annoyed? Resentful? Doubtful? Ready to roll up your sleeves? How might you proceed?
Are you happy when you hear from a client that he or she is harboring some big dream or does that feel like it puts “extra pressure” on you? How do your clients’ aspirations affect you?
Do you have a different approach when you’re coaching someone with a big dream versus someone who isn’t announcing any such dream? Do you have the sense that you work differently or feel differently in these two situations? Plenty of food for thought here!
A client wants to get something extraordinary done or something quite ordinary done. In either case, we can help by keeping a careful eye on the many steps required.
Check out Eric Maisel’s transformative courses in collaboration with Noble Manhattan-designed to elevate your coaching journey.
