Plumbers employ real tools. Car mechanics employ real tools. But coaches, when they talk about using tools when they coach, are being metaphoric. We do not have wrenches or screwdrivers. What is it that we do have?
Well, we have our accumulated wisdom. That isn’t exactly about lived experience, because a seven-year-old, who may not have much experience, can already be wise. Wisdom is something different and perhaps really quite ancient, some deep understanding of human nature that is baked into us at the genetic level. It is funny to call that a “tool,” but it is actually our primary tool as coaches: our native wisdom.
Then comes all of our lived experience. I likely know more about writing and publishing books, having written seventy or eighty and having had sixty or more published, than someone just starting out. That doesn’t make me special, brilliant, or anything except experienced. Our experiences, for better and worse, are among our most important “tools.”
Then, there is the thing sometimes called “warmth.” Again, it is funny to call “warmth” a “tool,” but it is. It is fundamental to therapy and fundamental to coaching, too. Coaching is a relational enterprise and if our client finds us warm, friendly, empathetic, and human, that is good for the coaching. Imagine trying to coach someone outdoors with a cold wind howling? Wouldn’t you both much prefer to be indoors by the fire?
Another “tool” is the activity of goal-setting. Again, it is funny to call something like “goal-setting” a tool, but in fact it is the stock-and-trade tool of the coaching profession. You and your client co-create goals, monitor those goals, engage in course corrections, and organize your work together around the idea of “goals.” It is hard to imagine how the profession of coaching would work without the notion of goals baked in.
Another odd-sounding “tool” is the activity of summarizing. It is a powerful practice to end sessions reminding clients about the agreements that have been made in session. This might sound like a coach saying, “Okay, let me summarize for a moment. You intend to resume writing your novel, you intend to get to it five days a week, and you intend to spend at least twenty minutes working on it each day. Have I got that right?”
Then there are those things that more resemble “tools in a toolkit.” You might offer your client an exercise, a tactic, or a strategy, suggest a guided visualization, or stop the session and invite your client to journal. None of these are required and many coaches never adopt such practices. But they can prove very useful.
To take a simple example, you might provide a client whose thoughts aren’t particularly serving her with a “get a grip on your mind” exercise that she can practice between sessions. Or, say that you’re working with a performer experiencing performance anxiety. The two of you might co-create a guided visualization that she can use to “visualize” herself performing calmly. Such tactics can help a lot.
What “tools” do you employ? Let me know (to me at ericmaisel@hotmail.com) and I’ll share some of your responses in a future column. Do you do something that tends to work beautifully? Let me know. Let’s share what works well and build our best tool kit possible!
Check out Eric Maisel’s transformative courses in collaboration with Noble Manhattan—designed to elevate your coaching journey.
